"Buyer's Remorse," by Charles Harper Webb

I'd hate to take a job teaching, then spend my life trying to get out of it. - Mary Oliver

No sooner do the ruck of us declare
"I do," than we don't anymore.  Go out 
for football, and we who never dared
to stand up on a pair of ice skates, pout
that we can't play pro hockey too.  The ink's
still wet on our tickets to France, and we
wish we'd picked Japan or, come to think
of it, Kauai, New Zealand, or Tahiti.
Open any one door and we're deafened
by the roar - loud as the sea swallowing Atlantis - 
as other doors slam shut, and their wind
knocks us down.  The serpent didn't hiss
     to Adam and Eve, "Hide your nakedness!"
     He wore his best suit, and whispered, "Look at this."